Gloomy Days are here again...

Eh...that's how I feel today. Just, eh.

For the first time this year, I've had to deal with SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I thought I had in under control, but not after today. I missed class this morning because I hardly slept and woke up with a migraine. I finally got out of bed around 12pm to take something again to see if it would finally go away. It did, but not for another hour and a half. I proceeded to get back in bed. I stayed there off and on for 5 hours.

5 hours?! WTF is wrong with me?!

The worst part about SAD is that I lose all interest in everything I like to do. I don't want to do anything and I mean, anything. I don't want to read or watch TV or clean or organize or talk to anyone. All I want to do is lay in my bed. Sometimes I sleep, sometimes not. Most of the time I just lay there thinking. And I'm not thinking happy thoughts, believe me. I don't even want to watch Jane Austen movies. That's a huge deal.

I'm calling the doctor tomorrow. It's time I got an official diagnosis. But trust me, I have all of the symptoms: I feel sad, grumpy, moody, I lose interest in my usual activities, I'm tired and groggy during the day even if I get a lot of sleep, and I gain weight and crave carbs (energy boosters). Getting up in the morning is extremely difficult, it's why my morning classes get skipped more than they should.

I'm so sick of this feeling. This feeling like I just want to lie down and not get back up until summer. Or at least until the next sunny day. I make plans and rarely follow through with them this time of year. I'm tired and grumpy and I have no reason to be. It's the time of year I wish I could quit school and move to Aruba. I would get so much more done there!

Here's hoping the sun comes out for a little while tomorrow...